Julia: No! No! Tiberius: Ye gods, what's that? Livia: It sounds as though there is now only Agrippa.Ĭlaudius: They're trying to get rid of me. Tiberius: Anyway, where does all this get us? There's not only Marcellus, there's Agrippa too. Livia: What on earth is that? Augustus: A remarkable creature.
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Marcus Agrippa: I'm getting a little tired of being taught the arts of war by kids that have only just learned how to piss in a pot.Īugustus: Wait till you see what Marcellus has in store for us. Livia: Better to call him now when you don't need him that when you do. Livia: When I start to forget things, you may light my funeral pyre and put me on it, dead or alive. Livia: She might even do that if I asked her! Tiberius: Aren't you forgetting something? She's still married to Marcellus, and Marcellus is not dead yet. She wouldn't interest me if you hung her naked from the ceiling above my bed. Tiberius: Mother, I'm a happily married man. Aristarchus: No? Augustus: No, not at all.
Incidentally, the battle wasn't like that. It never was what it was.Ĭlaudius: If Augustus ruled the world, Livia ruled Augustus.Īugustus: Wonderful.
Aristarchus: And what there is goes to friends. Did you have it trained? Thallus I was an actor, sir. Perhaps we should change places? Only the Romans can afford ushers with a voice like that. this, that and the other, who was once, and not so long ago, better known to my friends and relatives as Claudius the Idiot, or That Fool Claudius, or Claudius the Stammerer, am now about to write the strange history of my life.Īristarchus: What a voice. Episodes A Touch of Murder Claudius: I, Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus.
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